What’s It Like to Have ‘More Than Just One’ Lover?

It depends on which Love Organization you are living in at the time
– and – on which role you play in the relationships. If you are in:

Love Organization: Promiscuity (AKA ‘cheating’)

If you are in a ‘Mutually Exclusive Relationship’ – ONLY ONE OTHER – such as a traditional marriage or living together or going steady, etc., then frequently the person with another lover will describe the situation as: “exciting” – an “emotional/sensual safety valve” – “filling in unfulfilled needs” – a “means to avoid terminating their relationship”.

The other person without an added Lover (who is being cheated on) may describe the situation as: “a betrayal of trust” – they may be overcome with waves of anger – rage – jealousy – and often initially elect to terminate their relationship.

Love Organization: Swinging (AKA ‘recreational sex’)

The individuals are not interested in cheating on their partner and frequently their Best Friend – nor in terminating their relationship. They are however, interested in candidly/openly dealing with the stagnation and frustrations that frequently accompany long-term relationships (for typical timelines – see “Why They Fell Out of Love with You”). Swingers are primarily focused primarily on sensual activities with others – not in emotional involvements. Hence the old Swinger mantra – “You go home with the person you came with.” Swingers enjoy/seek the paraphrase of the old saying – “Body parts passing in the night”.

Love Organization: Intimate Best Friends (AKA ‘polyamory’)

Individuals are also aware of the boredom and stagnation (and often voids) that frequently beset long-term ‘Mutually Exclusive Relationships’. They are interested in adding to – not substituting – partners. Like the Swingers, there is no cheating – secret affairs – betrayal of trust. They seek long-term bonded relationships: mentally – emotionally – including sensual activities if they choose. They’ve left the myth-world of ‘partner ownership’.

Read More – understand what it’s like to live in the five Love Organizations from people ‘who’ve been there – done that’. You’ll be able to tell which Love Organization they’re in. In some readings, maybe you could have written the short pieces yourself. But you’ll never forget you read them when you think of your own relationships – present – past – those yet to come. Click to read